I Will Never Buy Dry Onion Soup Mix Again!

Haven't posted in quite awhile. But had to share this shortcut I learned. I use dry onion soup mix in alot of recipes...green bean casserole, meatloaf, chili, stuff like that. Well, the other day I made green bean casserole and realized I didn't have any of those store brand dry onion soup mix packets. So I googled how to substitute for it. Here is the combination of spices I found:

Substitute for 1 Envelope of Dry Onion Soup Mix

• 1/4 cup dried onion flakes
• 2 Tablespoons beef boullion granules
• 1/4 teaspoon onion powder
• 1/4 teaspoon parsley flakes
• 1/8 teaspoon celery salt
• 1/8 teaspoon paprika
• 1/8 teaspoon pepper

Mix the ingredients together. I found crushing the larger onion flakes up a bit made better consistency.  Use in recipes just as you would a store-bought pkg. of dry onion soup mix.

My green bean casserole and the next day a meatloaf, using this recipe instead of store bought pkgs. like I usually do, turned out even better than with the store bought kind. Try it!

My Willly-Nilly Chili

I told you in my last post that if you knew me, you’d know I could probably eat chili every day of my life. But not just any chili. It has to be chili without a tomato-ey flavor. (Is “tomato-ey” a word? Let’s say for the sake of my blog post it is.) Anyway, I don’t like the flavor of chili with too much of a tomato taste. (In my humble opinion, too much tomato in chili basically makes it a red pasta sauce, not chili.)

No offense to the restaurant chain Wendy's, because I like most of their menu just fine, but their chili falls into this "way too tomato-ey" category in my book.

I like a smoky flavor. And I like beans in my chili – LOTS of beans in my chili. ALL kinds of beans in my chili. No offense to those of you who don’t eat beans in your chili, but really, without beans, what’s the point?

Chili has been a staple in my diet since I was a very small child. I actually would not doubt my mother put chili in a sippy cup for me before I had teeth. (But as mentioned above, we liked our chili with beans, so probably not...)

Seriously, though, my mom made chili at least once per week (or it seems like it now anyway) and I always loved it. Sometimes she’d make shell or elbow macaroni noodles, or even rice as a mixer. I never liked spaghetti noodles in my chili - the way Steak-n-Shakes serves its Chili 3 Ways. But speaking of Steak-n-Shake chili, no blog post of mine on chili would be complete without mentioning my family's love of their chili.

My parents' were married in 1956 by a Justice of the Peace and then went to Steak-n-Shake for their "wedding dinner" with my aunt and uncle. They stole - I mean accidentally put silverware and glasses in my mom's and aunt's purses - for their new household. Fast forward to when I was a kid, well before Al Gore invented the internet and as a result, us having copy-cat recipe websites. But that did not stop my mom and dad from trying to "break the code" of Steak-n-Shake chili. They tried not draining the grease from the meat. They tried adding things, subtracting things, but none of their versions were as good as Steak-n-Shake's chili. I have to say, even now with access to just about any existing recipe (or non-existant recipe for that matter) via the world wide web, I still cannot duplicate Steak-n-Shake chili and my family carries on the family tradition in loving it just as much as my parents did.

But my very first tangible memory of my first hand experience with making chili was in 1968 – when I was 4 years old.

My mom was in the hospital. This was when it was discovered that she had diabetes. This was also the first time my dad had to take care of me without my mom’s help. (You can see where this is going, can’t you?)

I want to say it was a Saturday night because Dad had his friend, Smitty, over and they were drinking beers at the kitchen table. Dad only drank on the weekends so that’s why I think it was a Saturday night. Anyway, my Dad must have asked me if I wanted to help him make chili. So I can see it now like it was yesterday – Smitty sitting at the kitchen table, me on a chair in front of the stove so I could reach the pot . I remember Dad asking me to walk him through how Mom made chili. I recall throwing in the beans, the meat and the cans.

Yes, the cans.

Do you really need to ask if we pulled them back out? Yes, Silly, we did, but not before we had a good laugh about how the cans gave the chili extra flavor! Over forty years later, my dad moved in with my family after my mom died in 2010. He lived with us for 9 months before he, too, passed away in May, 2011. But we made some chili together and laughed about the cans in the chili yet again in those last precious months of his life.

When I got married in 1986, I don’t remember attempting my first pot of chili, but I am sure I called my mom at least half a dozen times and/or followed more than one written recipe.

Well, times have changed. I can honestly say, I never make my chili the same from one time to the next. No recipe either. The constants are ground meat (most of the time ground beef, but I’ve used pork, turkey and deer too), chili beans in gravy, both dark red and light red kidney beans, peppers, onions, garlic, onion soup dry mix and other spices – although the combination/quantities vary, and vary dramatically sometimes, but ALWAYS chili powder and cumin – and lots of it.

And the variables? Diced garlic & basil tomatoes (Remember, though – not too many!), other types of beans – Pinto, black beans, Great Northern beans…whatever I might have on hand and kind of fits in with chili. I might add some butter, or I guess I should say I “have” added butter, but it didn’t do anything special.

I also think of chili when I want to make comfort food for someone. One year, my husband’s work didn’t give the guys in the shop – the ones who do all the hard work – a Christmas luncheon. So I made a HUGE pot of chili complete with all the fixins' and sent it to work with my husband. My husband said they were all raving how great my chili was. I had put it in a crock pot to keep it warm for them (even tho I don’t make my chili directly in the crock pot) and when he brought it home, they had practically licked the crock pot clean!

I won second place in a work chili cook-off once. Again, the crock pot was all but licked clean. Halloween – our family/friends do it up BIG – like block off the street BIG. And I always make a HUGE pot of chili with all the fixins and it goes over well every single time.

I may have participated in a chili cook-off, but I had never been to one (not for lack of desire) until about 2 years ago. There was a chili cook-off with about 10 or 12 contestants at our community’s fall festival. You had to pay $1.00 for like 2 tastes and the proceeds went to charity. We tried about 6 of them. It was so much fun but it was tough picking and choosing which ones you should try because you knew you couldn’t try them all and still be able to walk upright! So you either picked by the looks of the chili, or the creative names the chefs had come up with. The only one I remember – and I did not try this one for the obvious reasons – was the “H1N1 Chili” (as in the flu that was going around and was all you heard about that year). From the looks of the tasters’ faces that did try it, it sure wasn’t the cure!

Well, I was going to make Slop-n-Goulash for dinner tonight, but you know what? I think I am gonna brew up a big pot of Lisa’s Chili. (BTW, I need a creative name for my chili – Anyone got any ideas??)

In the Beginning, There was Slop-n-Goulash...

…and it was good. Very good!

When my husband and I got married in 1986, I had led a sheltered life in the ways of the culinary arts. I am an only child and my mother was a stay-at-home-mom, so she did all the cooking. I never had reason to cook. Mom made all the traditional “Mom Meals” like meatloaf, mashed potatoes and gravy, roasts, beef stew, and of course, chili. (Since this is my first real blog post, you can’t know this unless you know me in real life, but I could probably eat chili every day. Not just any chili though – I don’t like ALL chili. I am a chili snob, but that’s another blog post…stay tuned.)

So back to 1986 and our marriage. We married young. I was 21 and my husband, 20 when we tied the knot. (and yes, he did drink alcohol at our wedding if that’s what you’re wondering.) We didn’t go on a honeymoon because we decided to use the money we’d have spent fixing up our apartment instead. I think back and wonder what in the world it was "fixed up"???

I honestly cannot tell you what we ate those first few days of marriage. Probably leftover homemade mostaccioli from the wedding, along with some deli meat sandwiches. Once the “newlywed starter set of food” was depleted, I started calling my mom – and calling her often. “How do you make…?” or if I could figure the basics out myself, “How long do you bake…?”, or "How do I know if it's done?" I’d ask her to write it down and make it so simple an idiot could follow it. And she did. She’d be so specific, that her recipe for Salmon Croquettes started with “Open can, drain” (I know – funny huh? But now that she’s gone, to have that in her own handwriting is priceless. I smile every time I see it, although my husband makes them now - and that, too is another blog post for the future.) Whatever the case, we didn’t starve.

Then came the infamous (okay, infamous in our family now – 25 years later) “Slop-n-Goulash”. I don’t recall what made me try making it. I think I just bought what was then Lipton (now Knorr’s) beef flavored noodle packets to make for us. On the back was a recipe which is now called Western Skillet Pasta on Knorr’s website. (http://www.knorr.com/Recipes/6953/1/Western-Skillet-Pasta.aspx) I don’t remember what it was named on the back of the Lipton packet back then. But it looked easy for a novice cook like me, so I tried it and it WAS easy. And an added bonus/surprise, it tasted really good, too. My husband, coming back for seconds, tells me, “I’m going back for more Slop-n-Goulash”. I cannot tell you how proud I was to have my first REAL recipe be christened with a name that included the word SLOP.

The funny part is that it was the highest compliment from my husband. And the rest is history…

Coming Soon...My New Cooking Blog

I used to be Martial Arts Mom. But due to health reasons, I had to give up my beloved karate. In the two years since I blogged about my martial arts journey, I have become quite the cook. (But always room for improvement)

I don't do the fru-fru French concoctions that Julia Child made so famous. Emeril's stuff is fantastic, but so many steps, so many ingredients...I just don't have time for all that and we are a midwestern family who likes regular, everyday food. Rachael Ray and Paula Deen come pretty darn close to my idea of the type of cook I want to be - REALLY good, but REALLY real.

Anyway, I just wanted to get this first short intro out there. More to come...

The MAM Christmas Letter 2009...

I have never sent out one of these letters before, but this year, it was definitely warranted with the year our family has been through...

Happy Holidays to Our Dear Friends & Family :

Wow! 2009 has been one heck of a year for the Martial Arts Mom Family – and that’s an understatement! We don’t have any expensive vacations or kids in prestigious colleges to brag to you about, but we have experienced some pretty huge blessings this year.

As most of you already know, Hubby and I split up in January, 2009. That lasted for 7 months, but 3 weeks before our divorce would have been final, we came to our senses and realized just how much we love each other and our family and reconciled. We celebrated our 23rd wedding anniversary on August 23, 2009. We feel very lucky and blessed to have each other and our family back together.

Then on October 13th (Ironically Sammy Hagar’s birthday), I (MAM) was in a major car accident and totaled my car. I hydroplaned, hit the concrete median head on, went airborne and landed flat on the passenger side. Again, I’m lucky and blessed to have climbed out of the car myself with only a bruised lung (OUCH!!!!) and sternum, as well as some bone bruises. Scariest thing I’ve ever been through in my life! Also ironically, we found a replacement car that looks EXACTLY like the one I totaled, down to the same olive green color!

We lost some dear friends and family this year, too. SS, who was like a second mother to me (Lisa). Hubby’s stepfather, LB. My 2nd cousin, AE, and my uncle, HE. They will all be missed very much.

Buddy started middle school this year and really likes it. He has some amazing teachers. We truly appreciate their devotion to teaching and their students. He is still into every sport in existence and especially loves hockey and baseball. He earned his yellow belt in Taekwondo with his group, the Rakkasans. He’s into Origami (folding paper) and stamp collecting these days as well.

Sissy is returning to Community College in January. She hopes to be an elementary school teacher someday. We are happy she has decided to further her education and are very proud of her and her decision. Some things never change—she still enjoys reading and baking cookies. She loves her big red Chevy truck (although we’ll never stop reminding her she comes from “Ford People”!). She and her boyfriend, Country Boy, enjoy the outdoors. I think their favorite color is camouflage!

Hubby is still with the tire company and MAM still with the largest health care organization in Missouri. Hubby plays pool on a Wednesday night league with his friend Jim. And at the time of this letter, he is top player in the league! I’m so proud of him! Jim’s girlfriend, Min Pin Mama, and I (MAM) serve as cheerleaders / good luck charms for the team. Hubby still does his elaborate plastic canvas creations – his way to unwind while watching tv in the winter. Since my martial arts have had to take a back seat lately due to health concerns, I have taken up cooking as my newest obsession. I love cast iron cookware and am trying new recipes all the time. (You should taste my version of Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies…can’t even tell the difference from the real things!)

We did our usual Halloween Bash. Lots of friends always make it a blast. We block off the entire street and lots of family, friends and neighbors sit around the fire pit and put on a scary show for the kids...and the adults alike. We serve up MAM’s Award Winning chili free to anyone who dares...I mean CARES to try it! (Trust us...it really is yummy!) Hubby plays the Grim Reaper and MAM is the resident makeup artist for the annual event. Her favorite canvas is our friend Bubba, who really gets into the act of scaring the wits out of anyone who gets within a few feet of him! Even Sissy, Country Boy and their friend got into the act!

Like I said, no fancy vacations, but we enjoy short camping trips at our place at our country lot, near St. Genevieve, Missouri. We bought a used pop-up camper from a friend last year and it makes camping very comfy and fun! We also have a 4 wheeler with a manual transmission that Hubby is teaching MAM to drive. All went well until her foot stuck on the clutch going up a hill. Talk about poppin’ a wheelie! That was a bit scary—I think I’ll let Hubby drive and stick to the automatic transmissions in his truck and my car for transportation, thank-you-very-much. Our next goal is buy a used pontoon boat to enjoy on the lake there.

So, there you have it – the MAM Family year – 2009 – in a nutshell. We had some pretty hard times, but all of them turned out for the better in the end and make it blatantly obvious how very lucky and blessed we really are. Here’s hoping our 2010…and yours…is a great one!!!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to One and All!
The Martial Arts Mom Family
Hubby, MAM, Sissy & Buddy

A Pool Party in December!

This past Saturday night, we had a "pool party" for our friend whose real name I'll use since the photo of his birthday cake has his name on it. (It's Jim btw)

Individually, all his friends acted like we were going to go meet him at one bar. To stall him so all the invited guests could be at the real location - another bar right down the street from the decoy bar.

I used to do cakes and burned out on it about 10 years ago or so. But I pulled out all the stops and decided since he and my husband are major pool players, made a pool table cake. (see photo) I also made a huge Happy Birthday sign for him on MS Publisher and blew it up to about 3' x 4' on the plotter at work. Both turned out great.

Jim was calling all of us, getting pretty ticked off that we all had excuses why we were late getting to the decoy bar. We were all laughing our asses off about it because we knew he'd be all forgiving once he walked in the real location and saw what we had pulled off.


And we were right, of course. The stunned look on his face when he walked in and we all yelled "Surprise!" was priceless! (And no, I didn't get a picture of that, darn it!)


There was good company, pool and darts (I'm a bull's eye girl, although I can't hit anything else on purpose even when I try!) There was also an awesome band, led by a not-so-small woman. She is my hero. She is living my dream - to play lead guitar and sing lead in a good band! I wish I could remember their name, but unfortunately, I didn't pay that close of attention and I apologize to them for that because they deserve to have their name remembered!


Nothing like a pool party in December!

Halloween at Martial Arts Moms' House...

Our family and friends REALLY get into Halloween. We decorate our yard elaborately, (I'll post those photos tomorrow.) The adults dress up and scare the older kids, along with a few adults. (See our friend Bubba in photos below. I, the resident Master Makeup Artist, outdid myself this year. His entire head was silver with black accents and an "eye" in the back of his head where he has this particularly weird "knob" of skin. Again, see photos below).

Bubba - The Front View - Make Up by Martial Arts Mom

Bubba - The Top View - Cool Gothic Cross

Bubba - The Eye In the Back of His Head

The fortune teller below is me - the red eyes not contacts but because my daughter got a bit close with the flash, but the effect is pretty cool anyway.) I was a bit down on myself for being a blonde gypsy but a friend paid me a high compliment and said I looked like Nancy Wilson of Heart. Don't I wish???

We block off our street on the Halloweens which fall on weekends and make a sort of block party of it, serve free chili & its counterparts at our house, chicken wings acros the street, coffee and hot choclate.

But anyway, we went to get our pumpkin the other night and settled on a HUGE one - like a 40 lb one. My 11 yo son "Buddy" wanted to carve Ray Mysterio's mask into it but a really cool "ghoul" design template was included in the carving kit and he agreed to that instead. Well, because our pumpkin was so huge, the template was too small. So, using the template, I freehanded it larger onto our mass of orange pulp.

Well, Hubby carved it, we lit it and went out to the street to see how it looked from the street, Buddy yelled, "It looks like obama!" Now here's where my political views become perfectly clear. I groaned, "Oh, shit!" I decided that I'm going to make a flourescent sign that will sit right next to the jack-o-lantern that says, "Now THIS is REALLY Scary!" Unfortunately, the photo turned out too blurry to post.

Am I the only one who finds irony in the fact we were carving a "ghoul" and it looks like obama?

R.I.P. - My Tank - The Ford Explorer Sport That Saved My LIfe!

This is my "Tank"...my "Baby"...May she rest in peace! The good news though - I'm above dirt! And even better news - I'm "adopting" her older sister, the EXACT same vehicle except she is one year older but with less miles, she has a sunroof, a kickin' stereo, 4WD and a tow package. Since she will be the older sister who has it all, I think I'll name her "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia"! Photos to come of her once the adoption process is complete!

Above: Passenger Side Front
Above: Passenger Side Front

Above: Driver's Side Front

(First impact - the concrete median)

Above: Front View of the Tank

Above: My view after last impact

- except the view is upright in this photo.

How NOT to Celebrate Sammy Hagar's Birthday!

I was in a major car accident Tuesday night on my way home from work.

It is a HUGE blessing that I walked out of it alive with only a bruised lung and bruised sternum, plus a few other bruises and soreness. Not a cut on me though, despite the windshield and passenger side windows imploding.

After hitting the slick spot, I turned into the swerve like you are supposed to, keeping my cool. But I started hydroplaning, did two 360's and flipped my car after I hit a slick patch and hit the concrete median head on, went airborn and the car landed flat on the passenger side. Didn't think I had hit my head, but both airbags deployed and smoke filled the car. I kind of wish I had lost conciousness as it was super scary spinning like that, seeing that concrete wall coming at me, thinking I was a goner. After I hit the concrete median, I went straight up in the air, was looking at the sky thinking that was my preview of heaven, then landing flat on the passenger side. Scariest thing I've ever experienced in my life!

When I came to a stop, I realized my chest hurt but other than that, I seemed okay. Again, suprising no one more than me, I remained calm but realized I needed to get out of there - with all the smoke, I was afraid the car might catch fire. I tried to release my seat belt but couldn't find the release (not realizing it was behind me because I was hanging from it). So, I was having a hard time breathing because of all the smoke (which turned out to be carbon fibers from the airbags) so I turned my attention to hoping the power window would open so I could breathe again. I thought for a second that the electrical probably was shot and it wouldn't open, but said a little prayer that it would and it did! I opened the window above me and it worked so I could breathe again, then figured out how to unfasten my belt climbed out, realizing since I was hanging from it that the release was behind me, not to my right as it normally would be. (My large console saved me from falling all the way down tot the ground...I'll never curse it again if they don't total my car!)

Two men helped me but you should have seen the faces of the cars passing by - their jaws just dropped seeing me climbing out of there of mostly my own volition. The second man said he'd stay with me until the ambulance got there. We talked. I looked at my car and in a defeated voice, told the man that now I didn't know what I was going to do - I was on my way to pay my electric bill so they wouldnt' shut it off (money is VERY tight since hubby and I got back together trying to catch up.) and now I didn't have a car either. After the EMTs arrived, the man came up to me and handed me a $100 bill and told me to go pay my electric bill and disappeared despite my insistance that I couldn't accept it. I didn't even get his name or anything. What an angel!

The EMTs checked me out and said I looked okay - that I could go to the ER if I thought I needed to, but when asked if I was their mom or sister, would they think I was okay to go home and just go if I felt something was wrong. They said they felt I had a bruised chest and lung, that other than that, I seemed fine and that I'd be extremely sore for a few days but that I should be okay. They told me if I felt like something was not right, to go to ER.

So, The first two days were the worst soreness. Not quite 72 hrs later, I'm still very sore today...okay, make that VERY sore today, and new bruises keep turning up in places I didn't even realize had taken any impact, but I'm alive!. Scariest thing I've ever been thru in my life. It is a true miracle that I am alive.

Boy, after my "almost divorce" and reconciliation, and now this, I've had one heckuva year, haven't I?

Take it from a Sammy Hagar Fanatic, this was NOT the way to celebrate Sammy's birthday!

Are Hooter's Hot Wings Really THAT Good?

Seriously - I really want to know. Are the hot wings at Hooter's really THAT good?

Or are they just average, with the main attraction being the Hooter's girls who serve those hot wings?

I think I know the answer.

My husband and I have been debating this for years. I've never been there but of course, he has. I have always resisted going there because:

1. I don't really care for hot wings in general, and

2. Even though my "hooters" would stand up to any of the Hooter's girls', any woman who has even a shred of an inferiority complex would be intimidated by those young, perky waitresses. (Okay, maybe "stand up" is not the most accurate term here, but gimme a good push up bra and it becomes applicable! I know TMI.)

Hubby and I have had many lively debates regarding this, always prompted by a commercial on the radio, a billboard, or passing by one of the restaurants. He insists that their chicken wings are great. He has recently added that they have great burgers to his argument. (He knows I love me a good burger.) I maintain their food is probably okay, but that guys just want to oogle the Hooter's girls and that is the main draw to Hooter's. I have prodded, "Okay, if the wings are so great, I'll go get "to go" and bring them home to eat...Will they be just as good then?" Hubby giggles and doesn't really have a defense for that one.

Whatever the case, I have resigned myself to being a "Hooter's Girl" for the day. More just to fuel the fun we have debating this issue than anything else, I got a copykat recipe for Hooter's hot wings and dipping sauce from the internet and am going to attempt to make them tonight for dinner. I won't be wearing a Hooter's tshirt or short shorts. I'll probably be wearing jeans and nice low v-neck tshirt (complete with my best push up bra!) so he'll get some of the effect anyway! Hey, you have to work with what you got...Let's just say that I NEVER wear turtlenecks!

I'll let you know if his argument for the awesome Hooter's wings stands up in Martial Arts Mom's court...

M.A.M Update...

I haven't given you an update since July, so I thought it was about time.

My husband and I have been back together for about 2 months now and things seem to be going well. He is really trying and so am I.

I asked him to give me a week after I broke it off with Forrest, the guy I was seeing for 3 months when we were separated. I broke it off with Forrest on a Sunday and my hubby moved back in that next Friday...not quite a week, but it felt right.

I still miss Forrest, but not so much in the romantic way anymore. I just miss him as a friend - a goofball, and as I've told you before - I mean that in a good way. I'm a goofball too. We just seemed to get each other's weird sense of humors. He called me about a week after the breakup and wanted me to see him "on the side". I told him I was not that person and would never be that person. When I was with him, I was with him only and now that my husband and I are back together, I am only with him. I have not heard from him directly since - 2-1/2 months. It was very hard at first, not talking to Forrest because we had talked almost every day or went out together. I will love Forrest forever - most of all because he gave me confidence in myself again. Remember I told you I started wearing shorts for the first time in about 25 years because of him? He made me feel good enough about myself to not feel like an idiot showing my legs. LOL He told me I was gorgeous all the time, which again, inspired confidence in me I have never had before. But back to my husband and I...

My husband asked all our friends over that Friday night and asked me to be married to him again in front of all of them and our kids. We put our wedding rings back on that night and he stayed his first night back home that night.

When we sat down to figure out what we were going to do to make our marriage work, we said we wanted to incorporate things we did with those we were with during our separation that we felt we had been missing before we split. One of those things was eating at home more. The woman he was seeing was a good cook and so am I but with our busy schedules and kids, we had kind of gotten away from eating at home much. Well, my interest in cooking has become a passion for cooking - especially cooking in cast iron...but that's another post entirely. We've always enjoyed eating out together and watching cooking shows, but it has become a very fun thing we can discuss and be interested in together. The thing I'm going to have to watch though, is my weight. I lost all that weight in "the divorce diet" and we have such great food all the time now, it's tough to not just relax and eat tons of it!

Another thing we said is that we wanted to "date" more. Get out without the kids - as adults having a good time together. I go with him to his pool league night on Wednesday nights now and it's like a date for married people. Our son also spends the night on one night of each weekend with my parents, which is good for all involved - my parents enjoy seeing him, he enjoys interacting with them and my husband and I get time alone as adults. I highly recommend this married couple dating thing. We really enjoy our time together. It helps you remember you are people and not just parents.

My husband and I have both realized that we almost lost our family and all that we've worked for the past 29 years and we are both grateful that we saved it just in the nick of time - 3 weeks short of our divorce becoming final. We are both more affectionate to each other. We text each other like teenagers, with suggestive texts such as "Will you take me for a ride on your big green tractor tonight?"...(You gotta know your country music to know what that means...BTW, have you ever listened to the words to that song? Jason Aldean is NOT talking to his girl about riding a John Deere in this song! If you get my drift...) I've even changed the ringtone on my cell for my husband exclusively to "Big Green Tractor". I know - Too Much Information...LOL!

I have gotten off track on my martial arts. During our separation, it was because of depression and just not being able to get "into" anything. Now, it is the complete opposite...I have so much going on, that I don't want to miss a minute of it for anything - not even my karate night. I've got my loving husband back home and more attentive than ever, my passion for cooking every night, helping my son with his homework - trying to keep him on track in that respect, and of course, the new seasons of Grey's Anatomy and Survivor! I have explained this all to my senseis (minus the Grey's and Survivor part) and they understand completely. I will get back to it - just need a little more time to get into a more stable routine.

But to sum it up, I'm very happy. This getting back together stuff can be alot of fun!

Bullies...

I don't know if you've heard about the 17 year old high school boy beaten by a bunch of boys on his Belleville, IL. school bus. But, here in St. Louis, just a hop-skip-and-a-jump from Belleville, it has dominated our news lately. (That is when we're not hearing about Michael Jackson's death...3 months ago!)

It happened about a week ago on a high school bus in Belleville, IL. A 17 year old white boy boarded the bus, looking for a seat. Nobody would let him sit down next to them. So, he finally gave up and sat next to a black boy who obviously objected becuase he and another black boy proceeded to grab him by the neck and punch him repeatedly in the head. On the video, at least one other student was heard yelling, "Kick his ass!" The rest of the students were heard whooping and hollering and encouraging the attackers. The bus driver was heard saying, "Cool it back there!" and other such lingo. But he did not pull over to give the boy aid.

One student finally stepped in and pulled the victim away, and in an interview after the incident said he did so because the boy is very quiet and was not trying to defend himself. He went on to say that the victim often has trouble getting a seat on the bus, but they usually let him sit down eventually without physical incident. They usually just tease the boy unmercifully.The bus driver drove on to school with a school nurse waiting for the boy. News reports said he was bruised but overall okay.

The following day, the two main attackers had been suspended for 10 days, a few others suspended for egging it all on, and the bus had a different driver, complete with a security guard.

Now here is my worry. My boy is only 11 but he is ADHD and has often been ostrasized by his peers. I'm sure there are lots of other kids who are in the same boat...or should I say bus?

Even though my 11 yo knows some karate, I would not think he would have the presence of mind to use it under this much duress should something awful like this happen to him.

I would personally have expected that bus driver to pull over and put a stop to this horrible situation. As a student, I remember our bus drivers pulling over just because we would not sit down...or because our voices were too loud...or someone was being teased.

There was even a copycat situation a few days later at a sister school to my son's school.

What are parents teaching their kids? What kind of behavior are parents allowing without actually condoning it? What kind of person with children in their care lets something like this happen without intervening? What is this world coming to?

Your thoughts?

When Your Student Just Doesn't Get It...

Okay, the other day I asked for some teaching tips for the kids with which I worked a few weeks ago. I was sick last week so I couldn't help teach, but I did last night. Ended up with a different group of children. They were a much easier group to work with - until...

A green belt and I were working with 5 kids. The green belt could see how much trouble one little girl was having - holding up the rest of the kids because we had to guide her step by step on every single move we made. So, she asked me if I wanted to take that girl and another promising little boy who just had not learned the entire kata yet or if I wanted the kids who already knew it. I could see the look in her eyes, hoping I'd take the two kids.

This little girl just doesn't seem to "get it". And I don't know what could be the cause of it. She is extremely - make that EXTREMELY - shy. She barely speaks. When you talk to her, she doesn't seem to understand what you're saying. That in and of itself is not as much the problem as the fact that she seems "directionally challenged" - if there is such a condition. When I showed her how to do our "Basic Number 1" kata, I had to break it down step-by-step and explain each step over and over. Again, I expect that with any newcomer (which she is not). But when I stand right next to her and do it with her, showing her each detail of each move, she still doesn't grasp it. The biggest problem seems to be her confusion in direction of movement. When I show her the direction to turn in the kata, giving her tidbits to help remind her which way to go, it does not register with her. When I take her shoulders and start the correct direction of movement, as soon as I let go, she goes the other way. I just don't understand it. I am almost wondering if she may be dyslexic. Could that be it? Have any of you ever tried to teach someone like this?

As I said, this is not a new student. She has been with us about 2 sessions I think. Granted, we have plenty of instructors for most classes, but even working with her one-on-one doesn't seem to improve her excecution of katas or even basic kicks and punches. And the time it takes away from the other students is not fair either.

I might talk to her mother next week and just mention that she doesn't seem to be getting it and maybe if she'd practice at home, it might help. I will probably ask our sensei to say something as I'm just a yellow belt helping with the kids' class. And one of our senseis is a special education teacher. She knows how to talk to parents when their children are just not getting it.

Anyway, if any of you have had students that just don't seem to get it no matter how many times you show them, guide them, tell them, etc. please tell me how you handled it.

Got Teaching Tips?

A few posts ago, I told you how our intermediate kids' instructor asked me to help with the intermediate class to keep the new yellow belts moving along instead of being held back a bit by the kids coming over from the beginning class. I also told you how I was very flattered and honored that he asked me.

Now, my dilemma...

I am not shy. I am a talker. I am outgoing. I usually tell it like it is. BUT...

I am not a teacher. I can usually set my mind to learn something and learn it right. Again, BUT...

I find it hard to explain to someone else. Cases in point - I can play the flute, but years ago when my daughter wanted to learn with my own flute, I could not figure out how to teach her. Math - I hate math, but I can design a quilt w/no pattern and tell you how many square of roofing shingles you need for your roof if you give me the dimension and design a deck for you (from my hardware store employment years), but if I am helping my 11 yo son with a math homework word problem, I cannot for the life of me convey to him how I figured it out.

Last night, I did my first real stint as a teacher for the kids' class. I was surprised that the instructor asked me to work with the new yellow belts and those about to be yellow belts on their first two katas. I thought he would have me helping with the new beginning class graduates with basics. Again, I was flattered. (Maybe not rightly so - he may have figured they know probably as much as I do so I couldn't screw them up too much!) But I had 4 kids - 2 yellow belts, one of which was my 11 yo newly yellow-belted son, "Buddy". The other, a little girl who make my son and I seem positively mute. The other two white belts who are thisclose to testing for yellow belts. I started out with our school's "Basic Number 1" kata - a very simple but fundamental routine. They did okay. I had them do it while I counted out the steps. I had them do it without me counting, telling them to look to the highest ranking yellow belt to set the pace (disasterous!) and even with their eyes closed, which they did better at than trying to pace themselves with the girl who was highest ranking YB.

This little girl whom I have now named in my head as "Chatterbox" was very disruptive. She did not want to stay on task, instead, wanting to comment on every single thing we did or I said. She talked non-stop almost the entire hour. She stopped the class quite a few times. When practicing kumites after they worked on katas, she gossiped with the girl with which she was paired. I think the other little girl was even getting a little aggravated. What this all boils down to was that I felt like these kids - especially "Chatterbox" - did not take me seriously as an instructor. And much of that could be that they sensed I was nervous and it was my first time being totally in charge of teaching. Now, here is where you come in...

I would like some tips for instructing kids. I know many of my many (yeah, right) readers are or at least have instructed children - whether it be in martial arts or as teachers in the field of education. Any advice you can give me would be appreciated.

• How do you stay focused when trying to count out katas?
• How do you gain the kids' respect so that they really listen to you?
• How do you get them to like you as well to make them want to do well for you?
• And last, just any tips in general that I might use in helping them?

As I said, any tips at all will help me - the teaching challenged!

Four Lies and One Martial Arts Fact...

Okay, I hijacked this idea from Chris over at Martial Development (see link: http://www.martialdevelopment.com/blog/four-lies-one-martial-arts-fact/. I was not one of the original "chosen Tagged Ones" but after I commented, I was tagged in the comments section. Here's the premise.

..

The meme works as follows. You post five things about yourself. Four are untrue. One is true. All are so outlandish, implausible or ridiculous that no one would be inclined to believe that any of them are true. And despite the pleas from your readers, you never divulge which is true and which are fabrications. You then tag five other people (four seriously and one person you are pretty sure would never participate).

1. In class one night, I was once kicked in certain areas that us girls only have in pairs. So I kicked back in a certain areas that only you guys have in pairs. (And no, I don't mean ears...we ALL have them!)
2. Once in a self-defense exercise, I flipped what I thought was our tall, large, sturdy Sensei over my shoulder. Turned out it was one of our 105 pound female brown belts.
3. I was a body double for Uma Thurman in Kill Bill 3, which never made it to the big screen. (I wonder why?) Quentin Tarantino told me I was better than Uma.
4. I was also a body double for Steven Seagal when he appeared naked on the big screen. I was told I must wear a girdle to be more convincing.
5. Chuck Norris and Christie Brinkley personally delivered my "Total Gym" to my home when I won it in a Martial Arts Tournament being held at the Shaolin Temple.

Okay, now which of the 5 do you think is the truth?

I'll never tell!

I tag: BBM, Becky at Fine Martial Fiber, Ikigai, The Perpetual Beginner, and Minivan Ninja

M.A.M.'s 10 Biggest Pet Peeves...

Oh, c'mon, you know you do too care...

Whenever I voice yet another of my pet peeves, I always start with, "Pet Peeve number 457..." or whatever random number I pick that day, and then launch into telling my unwilling victim something else I just realized ticks me off or drives me crazy ...So, I thought I'd make a list of those that came to mind right away (you know with 457 pet peeves, only the ones that come to mind immediately are listed here) And I imagine some people are not going to like some of my brutally honest opinions here, but really, they're all in fun. And they're in no particular order...

1. Babies who are dressed in just a diaper or a diaper and a t-shirt. I know it's not the baby's fault. It's the redneck parent who inflicts this baby equivalent of Glamour's Do's and Don'ts on their little guy/girl. And yes, I know it can get really hot in the summer, but a little sunsuit or onsie would work too. Why not just put them in a mini-wifebeater and a pair of baby Levi's?
2. Drivers who drive slow in the left lane. Hello! They call it a passing lane for a reason! (They also call it the FAST lane!)
3. Drivers who drive slow in the right lane. Okay, okay - just any slow driver is a pet peeve of mine no matter which lane they drive in! (The way I drive - I should have been born into the Earnhardt family.)
4. People who think they/their kids should be treated better than anyone else or have special priviledges. (Remind me to tell you about MFH (Mother-From-Hell) and her daughter "mini-me" from when my daughter went to private school. That's an entire post all it's own!
5. When you go to the store on a weekend and they have 1 or 2 registers open and deep lines for you to stand there on your time and give them your hard earned money. Retail is one of the oldest professions - have these people not figured out that more people shop on the weekends than other days of the week? (Not blaming the employees - the retailers themselves.)
6. Wal-mart bashers. I'm sorry - I have worked retail and many of my friends still do. K-mart and the other discounters do not treat their employees any better than Wal-mart. They all underpay, overwork and try to get out of giving them benefits. Simple as that.
7. Really ugly and/or really old people driving hot sports cars. Gimme a break. Do they really think people will find them more attractive because they drive a hot car? What happens when they have to get out of their car and meet people without the benefit of that Mustang or Viper? Bet they don't get the same attention.
8. People who complain about EVERYTHING. (This is why I sometimes hate myself.)
9. People who can work, but don't work, and expect me to pay for their food, their healthcare and their shelter (along with their gold chains, expensive name brand clothes and steak dinners - while the only real jewelry I own is my wedding ring, my family eats mac-n-cheese, and wear thrift store clothing.)
10. And the best for last - this is a repeat really - I wrote about this in my 10 things you probably didn't know about me post. I can't stand it when people blow their nose in a restaurant - fast food or nice sit-down - doesn't matter. I don't have a weak stomach - I just think it is rude. That kind of thing really does make some people sick just to think about, let alone hear it while they're trying to eat their pea soup or guacamole.

Okay, there's my list. I imagine I'll be hearing some pretty interesting responses if anyone actually reads my post, that is. Hey, there's pet peeve # 458 - you go through all the trouble to write fun posts for your blog and NOBODY reads them! Do you have any pet peeves? If so, what are they? Your turn...

You Can Go Home Again...

Well, tonight is the last night of karate class for this session. I have not participated in one class this 10 week session, save for the night I helped assist the "Karate Kids" class due to a shortage of instructors that night. As I explained a few posts ago, I've had a lot on my plate for the past 7 months. Emotional, mental and physical stress and plenty of all of them! I signed up for this past session, and made sure my son came to all of the classes, but just couldn't get my own motivation up enough to "just do it" despite the fact that my martial arts school is another family to me and I love them dearly and respect them very much. When I bow into the dojo, I feel like I have come home.

But is it true what they say - "You can go home again"?

Once a session ends, our school takes one week off and then resumes the following Thursday night. Next week is our night off, with the new session beginning on August 27th. I am anxious...both in a good way and in a nervous way. In one sense, I am excited to get back to martial arts and learning again, but in another, I've been away so long, I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to keep up physically.

So, my idea is that during the two weeks before I go back, I will practice. And then practice some more. I am not as worried about the basics - the kicks, punches, stances, stuff like that. It's the kata on which I need to focus. As a yellow belt who wants to earn her orange before the end of the year, I know 6 katas. I know 3 of them well, 3 of them I did know fairly well, but think I need to really apply myself with them in the next two weeks.

But you know what I'm most apprehensive about? It's the workout we do before class. It can get pretty intense sometimes - even when I was in the greatest physical/mental/emotional shape in which I had been in years (before my self-imposed break). How am I going to get through those first few workouts before I start getting back to where I was? I guess that is something else I will really have to concentrate on during the weeks leading up to August 27th. I mean, last year the class right before 4th of July, we did 3 sets of deep-knee bends or knee-deep bends if you prefer. The first two sets of 10 were just your textbook deep-knee bends. The last set of 10, we popped up in the air from the bent position. It was tough actually doing them that night, but it was even tougher walking for the next 3 days! Seriously, I can't remember ever being that sore in my entire life - even counting after giving birth!! And sometimes the "Ab-Master" (aka: our female Sensei) mixes it up as a "guest workout leader" and tortures us with yoga aimed specifically at strengthening the abs. I think about these tougher exercises and really worry I will be out of breath by the count of 2 repetitions!

I took my son to class and I got something I needed...reaffirmation. The instructor who teaches our intermediate and above kids asked me tonight if when we come back in 2 weeks if I'd be willing to help with the kids' class so the yellow belts can continue to move ahead. I am very flattered and it was just what my ego needed today. I am even more determined to work hard during these two weeks so I can even better help the kids.j

So, all in all, I guess I'm worrying for nothing. If I work hard at getting used to working out again (I never stopped entirely but have taken it down a notch.) I will be fine. I will get back into the swing of things. I will once again be learning myself from teaching.

I choose to believe that "Yes, you CAN go home again."

Tie a Yellow Ribbon...I Mean Belt...

Well, my 11 yo son, Buddy, received his yellow belt last night at the end of class.

I think our instructors were even more excited to present it to him than he was to receive it! Such good people.

And, obviously, I am so excited for him! Photo is left to right: Bauer Sensei, my son "Buddy", and Parson Sensei.

10 Things Most People Would Be Surprised To Know About M.A.M. (And probably didn't care to know either!)

Just thought it might be fun to post one of those "10 Things Most People Would Be Surprised To Know About Me" posts and then challenge all my hundreds (hee-hee) readers to do the same. Here's my list and TAG - You're it - whether you do it on your own blog or in my comments...

10 Things Most People Would Be Surprised to Know About M.A.M.:

1. I hate math. Detest it. I am a "word person"...NOT a "number person"!


2. If I was shipwrecked on a desert aisle with only one food, and I could choose that food, what would it be? Easy answer - POTATOES Baby! No question! Mashed, fried, scalloped, julienned, baked...okay, you get the point. (This answer is based loosely on the assumption that if I had a choice in the first place, the rules would be liberal enough to take into account condiments to prepare the one food in any way possible!)


3. Okay, everyone knows that in my opinion, there's only one way to rock...SAMMY HAGAR! What many don't know is that I have a tattoo to prove it. I designed it myself and got it about 3 years ago. I will post a photo soon, but it is about 5" diameter and is on my back right shoulder.


4. I am not good with sewing/quilt patterns. But I can get an idea for a quilt in my head, actually being able to see it visually inside my head, and then draw it out and figure out the math (yes, really, even tho I'm not a number person) and make it myself from start to finish.


5. It ticks me off when people blow their nose in a restaurant. Ask any of my friends. Whether I'm in a high-class restaurant or a Jack-in-the-Box, if someone whips out a napkin & blows their nose in the dining room area of a restaurant, you can bet I'll be staring daggers at them. There is just no reason for this. I don't have a weak stomach or anything - I just think it is plain rude. Go to the bathroom, Dude!


6. I wear a size 10 ladies shoe. Now if I were a guy, I'd be bragging about this and everyone would know! But I have flat feet (born w/no arch) and I have Fred Flintstone feet. Not exactly the kind of thing a lady wants to be well-known.


7. My husband and I have been together since we were 14 & 15 years old. (Except for that pesky 7 month divorce thing we almost went thru with). We are now 43 & 44. You do the math...remember, I hate math (refer to #1)! See photo of us above when we were VERY young!


8. Unlike many women, I am NOT a chocoholic. I much prefer other dessert flavors - like apple, cinnamon, hazelnut, pecan, etc.


9. I drink only 4 beverages on a very regular basis. They are: Coffee, Unsweetened Tea, Water and Smirnoff Ice. (I do like me some rum and coke and Southern Comfort and Sprite on occasion, but those 4 are my staples.)


10. I don't particularly care much for meat. It's not that I don't like the flavor - it's the consistency I don't like. Too much like eating dead animals. Oh, wait a minute, when eating steak, one IS eating dead animals. I don't have any ethical qualms about eating meat, I just don't like feeling like I'm chewing on actual flesh, which is what eating a steak of any kind feels like to me...yuck. Now give me some good ground round and I'm a happy camper. I know it sounds weird, but ground meat doesn't look like/have the consistency of flesh. Again - not a vegetarian or vegan or an activist - just don't like the feel of it in my mouth. (Get your mind out of the gutter!)

After writing this, which was fun by the way, I realized I could probably add about 10 more things that would surprise people about me. Then again, there's probably HUNDREDS of things I could tell you about me that wouldn't surprise anyone in the least...like how shy I am and often run out of things to say...yeah, right...that's a "whole nuther post"...