Thursday, September 24, 2009

M.A.M Update...

I haven't given you an update since July, so I thought it was about time.

My husband and I have been back together for about 2 months now and things seem to be going well. He is really trying and so am I.

I asked him to give me a week after I broke it off with Forrest, the guy I was seeing for 3 months when we were separated. I broke it off with Forrest on a Sunday and my hubby moved back in that next Friday...not quite a week, but it felt right.

I still miss Forrest, but not so much in the romantic way anymore. I just miss him as a friend - a goofball, and as I've told you before - I mean that in a good way. I'm a goofball too. We just seemed to get each other's weird sense of humors. He called me about a week after the breakup and wanted me to see him "on the side". I told him I was not that person and would never be that person. When I was with him, I was with him only and now that my husband and I are back together, I am only with him. I have not heard from him directly since - 2-1/2 months. It was very hard at first, not talking to Forrest because we had talked almost every day or went out together. I will love Forrest forever - most of all because he gave me confidence in myself again. Remember I told you I started wearing shorts for the first time in about 25 years because of him? He made me feel good enough about myself to not feel like an idiot showing my legs. LOL He told me I was gorgeous all the time, which again, inspired confidence in me I have never had before. But back to my husband and I...
My husband asked all our friends over that Friday night and asked me to be married to him again in front of all of them and our kids. We put our wedding rings back on that night and he stayed his first night back home that night.
When we sat down to figure out what we were going to do to make our marriage work, we said we wanted to incorporate things we did with those we were with during our separation that we felt we had been missing before we split. One of those things was eating at home more. The woman he was seeing was a good cook and so am I but with our busy schedules and kids, we had kind of gotten away from eating at home much. Well, my interest in cooking has become a passion for cooking - especially cooking in cast iron...but that's another post entirely. We've always enjoyed eating out together and watching cooking shows, but it has become a very fun thing we can discuss and be interested in together. The thing I'm going to have to watch though, is my weight. I lost all that weight in "the divorce diet" and we have such great food all the time now, it's tough to not just relax and eat tons of it!
Another thing we said is that we wanted to "date" more. Get out without the kids - as adults having a good time together. I go with him to his pool league night on Wednesday nights now and it's like a date for married people. Our son also spends the night on one night of each weekend with my parents, which is good for all involved - my parents enjoy seeing him, he enjoys interacting with them and my husband and I get time alone as adults. I highly recommend this married couple dating thing. We really enjoy our time together. It helps you remember you are people and not just parents.
My husband and I have both realized that we almost lost our family and all that we've worked for the past 29 years and we are both grateful that we saved it just in the nick of time - 3 weeks short of our divorce becoming final. We are both more affectionate to each other. We text each other like teenagers, with suggestive texts such as "Will you take me for a ride on your big green tractor tonight?"...(You gotta know your country music to know what that means...BTW, have you ever listened to the words to that song? Jason Aldean is NOT talking to his girl about riding a John Deere in this song! If you get my drift...) I've even changed the ringtone on my cell for my husband exclusively to "Big Green Tractor". I know - Too Much Information...LOL!
I have gotten off track on my martial arts. During our separation, it was because of depression and just not being able to get "into" anything. Now, it is the complete opposite...I have so much going on, that I don't want to miss a minute of it for anything - not even my karate night. I've got my loving husband back home and more attentive than ever, my passion for cooking every night, helping my son with his homework - trying to keep him on track in that respect, and of course, the new seasons of Grey's Anatomy and Survivor! I have explained this all to my senseis (minus the Grey's and Survivor part) and they understand completely. I will get back to it - just need a little more time to get into a more stable routine.
But to sum it up, I'm very happy. This getting back together stuff can be alot of fun!


Michele said...

Hi MAM: I am happy for you and your family!

Thank goodness for On Demand. I am so behind on watching my favorite shows. What do you think of Russell on Survivor?

Martial Arts Mom said...

Thanks Michele for the kind words. As for Russell, he is obnoxious and arrogant, but you know what? He is really the only one playing the game the way it needs to be played to win. Then again, I like Shambo - she's a worker but I think they'll take her out early because of her age...and for the fact she makes the others look lazy (which they are) How dumb was the guy that chose comfort over function as reward? What an idiot!

Anonymous said...

How can you claim you’re ‘absolutely obsessed’ with the martial arts and yet prefer some dumb soap-series to training? Tape the damn thing or buy it on dvd, this sounds like a pretty lame excuse to me. I can understand you’d want to spend time with your husband and your son but surely they’d be able to do without you for a night or two a week. If you don’t train on a regular basis you’ll never get good at the martial arts, perhaps that’s the reason why you’re still only a yellow belt, most people with two years of experience are at least green belt or even blue if they‘re good. I detest people who proclaim their love for the martial arts yet only put in the bare minimum of effort and are not dedicated at all, seems like they’re only there for the glamour of it or to boast to their friends. Still you have the guts to put up a blog that is supposedly at least martial arts related, from the few posts I read it seems to be almost exclusively about your personal life and troubles (me, me, me) or about your ‘efforts’ and excuses not to attend training. Besides that your ‘musings’ are rather mundane: ‘are hooters hot wings really that good’? Common, even a child could see your husband is only there to drool over the waitresses’ racks; he probably couldn’t care less about the food. I won’t be visiting here again and I indeed have no interest whatsoever in your all too obvious innuendo about sex.

Btw: the plural of sensei is simply sensei, not ‘senseis’. At least get the lingo right.