Monday, September 15, 2008

I Know What I Have to Do...But I Don't Like It

I Know What I Have to Do…

Okay, the subject of this post is a weighty issue…literally. I have to lose weight. That is all there is to it. I know it, but like most people, I don’t like it.

Before I started martial arts, my main motivation for wanting to lose weight was always to look better. Other times, I'd tell people it didn't matter to me how I looked, I just wanted to be healthier in general. (Are you buying that? Nah…me neither.)

But now that I've found karate, I find that the main reason I want to lose weight is to improve on my martial arts experience, whether that be that it would be easier to bend in half in warm ups, or kick a little higher in actual class, or just that my gi would fit a little looser across my tummy and waist. (And let me tell you, that in itself is MAJOR motivation! A gi that is tight in any spot at all is very uncomfortable.)

If my stomach was smaller, I would only have the "Girls" to deal with when bending in half (See one of my first blog posts, "Bend It Like Dolly" http://martialartsmom.blogspot.com/2008/06/bend-it-like-dollyor-dont-let-boobs-get.html )

If my legs were thinner, I bet my ankles and knees would feel MUCH better. I attribute some of my ankle and knee pain to getting older and the fact that I have flat feet - make that flatter-than-flat feet. But I also know that if I were to lose about 50 lbs or so, I am sure there would be a noticeable improvement in my archless wonders and those joints. I mean, after all, let's be frank - if my feet, ankles and knees had less weight to support, they'd probably let out a big old sigh of relief.

If I were to become more fit, I could breathe easier. The pranic breathing I am learning would come easier. It does calm me and help me, but sometimes, with extra weight, those deep breaths can be downright uncomfortable. And a nice, deep, cleansing breath being uncomfortable cannot be a good thing, can it?

And I exercise. I ride my bike occasionally. I do karate on most Tuesdays and Thursdays. I am on my feet a lot at work and at home. So, not everything I do for myself is bad.

But I eat too much.

Wow, it hurts to just blurt that out like that. It's a weakness of mine. (Eating too much, not the blurting...okay, I blurt too much too) It's a common weakness. (again, the overindulging in food, not the blurting) But it's also embarrassing. Embarrassing that you don't have enough control over yourself to stop eating when you know you've had a proper portion. (Have you seen a proper portion lately? Gimme a break - there ain't nothing "proper" about it! I ate more than that when I was a skinny kid!)

I eat too much or too richly and get indigestion, heartburn, gas, a myriad of other unmentionable side effects. I feel bloated and my gi fits even more snugly across my tummy. How can I put all I have into my karate performance when I feel like I'm stuffing myself into a sausage casing?

But I know what I have to do. And just like in the first paragraph of this post, I don't like it.

I don't want to have to plan. I don't want to have to limit myself to 1/2 cup of something. If I like it, I want about 2 or 3 cups of it! And what is healthy for us? Certainly not Chevy's chimichangas and Jumbo Jacks with cheese. So, instead we have broiled chicken and green beans. Oh, yum. Maybe if I'd been on that island with Tom Hanks, but living in a world of choices that include McDonald's fries and Crunchwrap Supremes…I don't think so. Seriously, I don't think I've ever said, "I'm dying for a garden salad with a bowl of fruit cocktail for dessert."

But I know what I have to do. And did I mention that I was not too thrilled with the prospect?

But I do desperately want to live "the martial way" as author Forrest Morgan puts it. That includes eating like "a warrior". In other words, I need to feed my body so it can do what it was intended to do…live in a healthy state - both mentally and physically. And I do like that and I'm sure I will like the effects from doing so. So, as I said…

I don't like it, but I know what I have to do.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

you go girl! hey, what are they doin on Tuesday nights? hope you are having fun! Rose

Martial Arts Mom said...

Rose- I don't know what they have done the past 3 Tues. nights (incl. tonight) as I have had meetings on all of them. I did sign up though and should be able to go next Tuesday. Bauer Sensei had said it would be a mix of weapons and sparring. How they are going to divvy it up, I'm not sure. I'm looking forward to your return though.

pawpads said...

Knowing that you want (or have) to do something about weight is a huge step and you've already taken that.
You also have lots of good reasons for wanting to do this ~ so hopefully it will make things a little easier.
Good luck though.

Martial Arts Mom said...

Well, day 1 didn't work out so well -but hey, there's day 2, right? And dwelling on falling off the wagon before I even really climbed on is not going to help. Thanks for the encouraging words.

MALS (Her) said...

I totally hear you and I'm struggling with the exact same thing right now, too!

I've started to change the way I eat and what bothers me is not the restrictions on what I can eat - it's having to spend any energy or time at all thinking about it!

Ugh, I just... don't care that much about food, I really don't.

But I care more about looking and feeling better without at least 30 pounds on my frame, so I'm putting up with it.

Sucks, though.

Martial Arts Mom said...

My sensei asked another woman and I if we were losing weight last night at class. We told her we loved her and that hugs were going to start if she didn't stop flattering us. LOL

BikerMomma said...

Hey, Martial Arts Mom! You and I are in about the same place right now. I, too, always used to diet to look better or to fit into a particular dress for a special occasion. This time, though, it's all about my health and well-being. I practice Taekwondo, and it would certainly be easier on the knees if there was less of me to frog-jump across the room. ;) I train 3 nights a week and have lost quite a few inches off various parts of my anatomy so far. I don't limit my food intake per se, but I do try to make better food choices. For example, instead of buying the giant Costco-sized bags of chips, I buy the individual serving sizes. That way, when I'm hit by the urge to keep eating until I see the bottom of the bag, that bottom isn't quite as deep. It's these little changes that are making the difference for me, and the fact that I'm not depriving myself of all the goodies, so I don't have any worries of "falling off the wagon" because there is no wagon to fall off of! Best of luck to you in your journey! :)