You Gotta Know When to Hold 'Em...

At least that's how Kenny Rogers would say it. You could also say, "Hold your cards close to your vest", or if you're a purist, just plain, "Keep your martial arts knowledge to yourself".

I am, for the most part, an impulsive person - at least in the verbal sense. I tend to speak before I think. (I submit for evidence my faux paux in telling "the nutty professor" at the book sale that I was a beginner in martial arts.)
I could also site myself on plenty of other "think before you speak" infringements. (Both martial arts related and not.) Another aspect in which this character trait can be very dangerous is in answering to a call for volunteers. I am so the sucker for a cause. (You'll hear more about me and my big mouth in another post on just that subject.) Matter of fact, I could probably just cut and paste these first two paragraphs onto that future post as well. But here is where the two posts' similarity will end…

I have been cautioned - more than one time and by more than one person - to "play my cards close to my vest". In other words - don't advertise that I practice martial arts.

The first time I heard it, I was in my first or second session, when we beginners were practicing the absolute basic moves. One of the guys said he didn't have a spot large enough in which to practice. Sensei told us we could practice even in small, tight spots. I suggested to the guy that if he had an outside area, maybe he could do his martial arts there. Sensei said that was not a good idea because you don't want everyone to know the extent of what you know. This surprised me. At that point in my journey, I would have thought that the more people thought you knew, the better off you were. My thought was that if they thought you were a bad-ass, they would not mess with you. But Sensei said you don't want to give them warning to work around your knowledge. Made me think of it with a totally different point of view.

I know a young man who shows off his moves whenever he gets the chance. Not maliciously or anything like that. Just does kata for whoever will watch. I don't see anything wrong with that. I have only the highest regard for kata. But some old school practitioners would probably deem this behavior inappropriate.

We all remember how the opposing team flaunted their martial arts prowess in the Karate Kid movies. I think this is the ultimate in using martial arts for vanity and illicit purposes. It's also a prime example of how modesty would have served those "bad guys" much better than their arrogance. You notice Daniel was instructed to not broadcast his martial arts training. And sometimes, when you feel you are doing really well at something at which you've worked very hard, you want to show it to the world. And in most non-martial arts related instances, you'd be encouraged to do so. So, when it is martial arts related, you have to "curb your enthusiasm" a bit - at least in the sense of showing it off outside the dojo. But therein lies yet another virtue of martial arts training - modesty and patience…with yourself as well as with others and situations.

I posted on my blog the other day about practicing in impractical places and at impractical times. (In all actuality, they are very practical - kind of a "bloom where you are planted" kind of theory.) But in getting my blog name out there, I posted my blog address on http://www.martialtalk.com/ (GREAT forum BTW) and someone wisely commented that I should be careful in training in front of others because some people take offense to martial arts. (No pun intended this time.) So far, I have not encountered that apprehension aimed at me just for doing my katas in the bathroom at work or my knuckle push ups against the lunchroom wall. But I could see where someone might not like it. For instance, someone may have a false assumption that martial arts equal a certain religious belief, or even lack thereof. Someone may have a strong aversion to women in any kind of sport, especially martial arts. And I suppose these people are entitled to their opinion, unfounded or not.

But as far as I'm concerned, the only person who should have a valid complaint about me doing kata in the bathroom at work is the woman who has to fill in answering the phones when I’m in the ladies' room, making the time away from my desk about 10 minutes versus 5 minutes.

As long as she doesn't have a problem with it, I think I'm okay…

Bo Knows Martial Arts...

Speak softly and carry a big stick. Who was it who said that? Teddy Roosevelt I think. But I could be wrong - history is not one of my strong suits.

As I've said before, my martial arts school is based out of a community center. Our sessions run 10-14 weeks depending on the season. Because of the limitations of meeting once per week for our regular sessions, we do not operate like many schools.

For instance, only once per session is the norm for working with bo staffs. The first time I saw one of these weapons was when I was still just a spectator at Buddy's classes. It was almost the end of the kids' class when the adult students started filing in with what looked to be 6' long broomsticks. I could sense the excitement amongst them. They were clearly ready for the kids class to be over and theirs to begin. A group of about 4 or 5 of the adult students stood down in one corner out of the way and practiced with the oversized toothpicks. It was fortunate it was very near the end of the kids' class because you can just imagine how much attention the kids were paying to "boring old punching and kicking" when the grown-ups were over there in plain view playing with toys! At that point, I don't think I had decided to sign up for adult karate classes and I did not stick around to watch the class to see how these pool-stick looking weapons were used, but I have to admit - my eyes were as glued to those adults and their toys as the kids had been.

My next encounter with bo staffs was when I had already joined the adult class. About 4 or so lessons in, at the end of our class, when Sensei updates us on what is going on with our school and martial arts outside of our school, he told the class to bring their "bo's" next week. I was all excited, figuring I could borrow one as I'd seen that there was a box of them in our storage area.

The next week I arrived to class, and in came the same adult students from before with their bo staffs and their enthusiasm in tow. I was enthused as well, but also anxious because I couldnt' figure out how I was going to do any kind of kata with the class never having handled a bo staff before in my life. Sensei asked if I'd like to just work on basics since I was so new to martial arts. I was disappointed in a way, but relieved in another. And after all, everyone can use review on the basics - especially the newbie.

Fast forward to the next session (my 2nd session) and when bo staff night was upon us, we had a few new beginners sign up so there was more than one person to learn bo staff basics. About 3 of us eagerly chose a bo staff from the box kept in the storage room. And one of the then brown belts taught us how to hold it at attention and fundamentals in how to handle a bo staff in general. That evening passed very quickly. I could see I was going to enjoy working with this weapon.

In my 3rd session, on bo night, I was back to being the lone ranger in that I just knew the very basics from last session. So, Sensei himself took me aside and taught me the basic bo kata. I caught on pretty quickly and was quite proud of myself. He and I "sparred" back and forth quite a bit that evening. The repetition drilled the routine into my head. I knew I wanted to practice at home, so that was the evening I ordered my very own bo staff.

I practiced at home and got the hang of switching hands, but could not get the jist of figure eights where one does one wrist over the other (one up, one down). But I got the kata pretty well under control - not an easy feat considering I did not have anyone to practice it with. My neighbors must have wondered what in the world a grown woman was doing in her front yard fighting an imaginary adversary with a 6' pole.

Now I'm in my fourth session and another mom and I ordered bo staffs for our sons who are also in the kids karate class together but who have both taken this summer session off. So, she and I received the bo staffs this past week. We took them out and started practicing the different ways of handling them...and luckily, Sensei was right there and I asked him about the proper technique on the figure eight dilemma I've been having. I did not know the proper term for this technique so it was kind of comical me trying to describe to him what I wanted him to show me.I think the other woman knew what I meant too but didn't know the proper term. He did a little assortment of movements and when he hit upon the one I wanted to see executed, I was almost giddy that we had hit pay dirt. Everyone thought that was kind of funny and we all laughed together about how I knew the kata but didn't know this simple little movement.

The other woman and I started to practice the kata - one of us attacking, the other defending and then reversing the roles. I happened to catch the "in awe" glances from the kids class - just like that first time I saw a bo staff, so I suggested to my friend that we go into another room so as not to distract the kids. And so we did and the kids got back to their kicking and punching. And probably, some new adult student who arrived early, or a parent thinking about joining our class saw us and thought, "Wow, look how excited those grown women are over an oversized toothpick. Maybe I should look into signing up for these classes..."

Beware of the Man of One Book...

Beware of the man of one book.~ Thomas Aquinas ~

I love to read. No, that is an understatement. I read voraciously. I am an only child so I had plenty of time to cultivate my love of reading as a kid. I love martial arts books, biographies, autobiographies, books about meditation/energy/healing arts (if they're not of the hokey cure-of-the-week variety), books on cooking, magazines, newspapers, cereal boxes…Wait, I just had a better idea - I should tell you what I don't really care to read because that list would be MUCH shorter.

None of my family and friends are as dedicated to reading as I am. My kids like books but don't care much for reading. (Don't ask me - I’m just calling it like I see it.) My husband would rather have his eyes gouged out with a red hot poker than read. My parents are not readers. My friends, who are not involved in nearly as many things as I am, say they don't have time to read. As a fully committed adult (committed in the sense of community/family, not committed as in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest), I make time to read. I have to make time to read or I'd feel life was not worth living. Seriously. That is no exaggeration. I have one friend who is as obsessed with books and reading as I am, but we only get to get together once in awhile so when I go to the bookstore or library, I usually have to go alone because when my husband does go along, he is wandering the mall looking for a store that sells red hot pokers to gouge his eyes out. (Or maybe with which to prod me to herd me out of the store!) Whatever the case, I rarely get the treat of leisurely visiting a bookstore or library. So, when I do get this opportunity, it is a rare, exquisite gem of a day for me. And yes, there is a reason I'm telling you this.

About a month ago, THE used book sale came to town. And I mean this was THE granddaddy of all used book sales. I had only been able to attend this annual event one other time - before I was a committed adult (don't make me explain it again), back when I was a teenager and had no husband or kids to whine about how long I was gone. I told my family that I was going to this book sale come hell or high water, and nobody had better call me while I was gone for those few hours of luxury. They do not understand, of course, but they agreed to it.

The book sale was being held on Macy's lower level parking lot at a popular area mall. Because this mall is not right around the corner, I do not frequent it. So, when I parked on the upper level of Macy's outside parking lot, I had no idea just how far I was going to have to walk to get to the book sale. I started toward the garage and upon entering, I couldn't see anything but cars. No books. Only 2 or 3 people. BUT NO BOOKS! I almost panicked, but contained myself. I asked a couple with a stroller if they knew how to get to the book sale. The man told me there was an elevator or steps and to take it/them to the lower level, then go to the polar opposite end of the garage. So, figuring I could use the exercise of the steps, I proceeded down about 4 flights of stairs to the correct level. And then I saw them…BOOKS! I sighed in relief and tried not to skip or run to the other end of the parking garage.

I grabbed a pretty good sized box and started looking for category signs, hung neatly over each table. I knew there would be no "Martial Arts" category so I thought I'd go for "Sports" but biographies grabbed my attention first so I had a look, figuring I'd do this in an orderly fashion and take my time and not miss anything. I grabbed one biography, Chinese Cinderella by Adeline Yen-Mah, (which was great BTW). I bypassed the true crime, the fiction, (which I normally peruse but I was just too darned eager to get to the martial arts, energy work books). I bypassed the romance…yuck…never have liked that genre. Guess I have enough romance in my life! So, I finally make my way to the non-fiction areas. Found two copies of Jennifer Lawler's "Dojo Wisdom for Mothers" in the gift book area (?). Having already checked it out and read it at the library, I grabbed both copies - one for me and one for a woman at work who does karate. I looked at all the theological, health and self-help books looking for books on energy - chi, quigong, prana, etc. Nothing. I finally found the sports section. I found a bunch of hockey books - so many I couldn't even get them all for my son because of finances, but only two martial arts books. One was a 1970's looking copy of a book regarding martial arts injuries. I picked it up - you never know. There was one about women in martial arts but it looked to be from the 70's also and not very good. So, silly as it seems, it bothered me to pass on it because it was a martial arts book, but I did pass on it because I'd probably never even look at it.

My cell phone didn't ring once. Amazing is all I can say. My family actually gave me those few hours to myself - almost totally unheard of. Thank you Hubby, Sis (what I'll call my 18 yo daughter to protect her identity from my sometimes embarrassing ramblings), and Buddy (remember him from a prior post - the pseudo name for my 10 yo son?) Anyway, it was GLORIOUS!

I drag my book laden box to the check out tables. My cardboard "shopping cart" is now battle worn from kicking and dragging it around for the past couple of hours, so when I saw that the lines were long at the checkout, I sat the box down next to my feet and hoped I'd have the strength to pick it up again when it was my turn to check out. The man behind me in line, a rather small-in-stature, bookish looking man (after all, we were at a book sale!) was looking at my book choices and asked if he could look at the martial arts ones. Me, being the friendly person I am, said he sure and that he had probably picked the slowest line because the one I'm in is always the slowest line. So, then he asked me if I was interested in martial arts and I told him I was a beginner. (In retrospect - BIG MISTAKE!!! You'll see why.) Atypically, the line moved very quickly and I found myself hoisting the dilapidated box onto the check out table. The ladies rang up my order and turned to the man behind me, acknowledging he was on his second trip through their line. He sprouted some sensitive mumbo-jumbo about the single book he was holding, saying he came back to save it - that this book did not deserve to be in a landfill. It was some off-brand "Fun With Dick and Jane" type of reading book from the 40's or 50's. I looked over at him and don't ask me why, but he reminded me of a Russian college professor. Now, I don't know any Russian college professors, but I'm telling you, that is what came to mind. Right then and there, my BS detectors started going off. It occurred to me that he was not just making small talk when he asked if I practiced martial arts. As soon as the two women were finished collecting my payment, I made tracks toward the other end of the parking lot. Still not seeing any other people around, I kept looking behind me and the guy was nowhere to be found. I started to relax a little, but kept moving quickly toward the stairs, when I realized I'd never be able to do those steps with this heavy, collapsing box. I didn’t want to get on the elevator though all alone. It was right by Macy's store entrance in the garage, but again, as weird as it sounds, there was no one around. I pressed the elevator button and kept glancing around for the strange little man. Nothing. The elevator took forever to get to my level. Finally…"Ding" and the elevator doors opened. Just as they did, I looked behind me and the Nutty Professor was right behind me holding the elevator doors open for me! Where the heck did he come from???? Nobody around, I stepped onto the elevator. He followed. Still nobody around. It went through my head, "If what my gut is telling me is right and this should escalate into something bad, could I use my martial arts training to get out of it? Or would I freeze up?" I thought to myself, yes, I'd have to - I'd have no choice.

"But what if I couldn't?"

Then it came to me. Over and over, when practicing self-defense techniques in class, Sensei stressed the first rule of self-defense is that if you don't need to be there, don't be.

All of a sudden, I shouted out, "Oh, I forgot something. I was supposed to run in Macy's while I was here." He was going to hold the elevator for me, but I told him that I was going to be awhile - to go ahead without me." I then went right inside the doors of Macy's and stood there for about 10 minutes to ensure he was gone before I got on the elevator.

He may have just been a sensitive Russian professor, but he could also have turned out to be a Hannibal Lector. Whatever the case, I think my sensei would have been proud of my decision. And even more importantly, I'm proud of my instinct and decision.

Spar Me - The Details...

I really hate to admit this right out of the gate, but sparring intimidates the hell out of me. There, I've said it.

I have always hit like a girl. Granted, it could be because I am a girl. Or was a girl anyway. Now that I don't hit like a girl, I guess I'm not a girl anymore. So I guess you could say that learning to punch like a man has made a woman out of me! Or as Shania Twain once said, "Man, I feel like a woman!"

Punching doesn't intimidate me. Kicking doesn't really intimidate me either. (Except those darn inside-out crescent kicks - the bane of my existence thus far in my martial arts journey)Then why-oh-why does combining punching with kicking freak me out so much?

In practice, we punch air and we punch bags. But until the sparring gear comes out, we don’t punch people. And I think that is where the line begins to blur.

The first time I sparred, it was in a very controlled setting. Since I was the only person left from my beginning class, one of the senseis took me aside and taught me the basics one-on-one in a very non-threatening manner.

• Breathing: Up to this point in class, we were told that we MUST breathe out on punches, kicks, blocks, etc. When I became out of breath pretty quickly, Sensei explained that this is why breathing out was stressed so much. In sparring, being so wrapped up in the match at hand, one tends to "forget" to breathe at all. But, if you do breath out, your lungs MUST breathe in again, supplying you with the oxygen you so need in sparring. As a matter of fact, I have found this martial arts "rule" to be very true and helpful in almost any physical challenge.
• Get in and get out: Don't get in there and just keep advancing. Move in, attack and get back out of there.
• Use combination moves - don't just do the same thing over and over, unless, of course, you do it on purpose to throw your opponent off before you literally "hit them with your best shot".
• She gave me the low-down on what was considered "low-down" or dirty - our school does not punch in the face in sparring. Top of head, yes. Face - no. Kidneys are also off limits.

Then, it was baptism by fire. We played a game called "The Gauntlet". We lined up like Danny Zuko, Sandy, Rizzo and the gang in the dance scene in Grease. Only this was the martial arts version - "Gi's" (I know - that was a real moaner, wasn’t it? Sorry, I've posted enough now that you should know you're gonna get these really corny puns with me! You obviously did not read the disclaimer…) Anyway, we lined up and the objective was for each person to "stroll" down the center of the two lines of people, acting as if they are just walking down the street nonchalantly. These two lines of people were to randomly attack the one doing the strolling. The one being attacked was to block the attack and then counter-attack. This was even more intimidating to me than one-on-one sparring. Everyone is watching you walk the Gauntlet in anticipation. I remember walking it and the teachers and people who knew me well came at me and I was very slow to react. But that was to be expected, it being my first time walking the Gauntlet. I got to the end and joined one of the lines and proceeded to watch in anticipation of the other people advancing toward me. I think it intimidated me even more to be on the line because that meant I was to attack someone, too. Some of the people really get into this and staged big old mock grudge matches. It really is fun to watch…especially when you're not the one doing the strolling.

Another time, we played a game in which a large area was covered with mats. One person (aka: the victim) stood in the center with his(or her) eyes closed. Everyone else stood around the edges, quiet as church mice so the person wouldn't know who was coming for him (or her). Sensei would point to someone and they were to attack the "victim" in any way and the victim was to "get out of it". A brown belt was out in the center with her eyes closed. Her black belt husband snuck up behind her in an exaggerated manner as we all tried not to giggle. A woman who hates to spar launched an attack on one of the guys. The guys, who enjoy the art of judo as well, were pulling judo moves on each other (a whole new level of intimidation for me!) Well, we were almost out of time. I thought I had managed to finagle my way out of being the "victim". Nope. Sensei pointed to me and told me to stand in the center of the mat…that we had time for one more - lucky me. I did and all of a sudden, what I was sure was one of the 6' guys, wrapped their arm around my neck…and tightly at that. We had done some self defense and escape techniques in class, but I had never seen the techniques for getting out of this hold demonstrated. So, I just kind of started to pull down on Hulk Hogan's arm and started to curl into myself, bending at the waist toward the mat, but not intentionally. All of a sudden, I have 2 senseis and quite a few others surrounding me, telling me to drop to my left knee and throw the guy over my shoulder. So, I did as I was told and threw the big guy over my shoulder. Everyone was clapping and thinking I had done this on purpose and saying stuff like, "Way to go." Now, I don’t know whether I was more embarrassed that they all thought the newbie had performed this really cool judo throw when it was really a complete fluke, or if it was more embarrassing when I found out which giant had the hold on me in the first place. It was the female brown belt who was no taller than me and weighed quite a bit less than me.

Just goes to show, size doesn't always matter.