Thursdays With Sensei...

Remember the book "Tuesdays with Morie"? Well, I have my own blog version I'm calling "Thursdays With Sensei"!

This past week, the gentleman who usually helps with the kids’ class was feeling “puny” as a former co-worker of mine used to say. So, I volunteered to help with the kids’ class. The kids were learning to fall properly. I know – it’s more of a judo thing than a taekwondo thing, but I’ll get to that in a minute.

I was watching the kids fall properly when Sensei walked into the dojo. Normally, when he enters the dojo, we all stop what we’re doing and bow, but Sensei almost always tries to catch the eye of one of the two senseis he trained to signal to them to “carry on” instead of bowing to him.

Since I am trying to get a website up and going for our school, he walked over to me immediately to let me know he had received my e-mail asking for an accurate history of our school. I have some info, but it is somewhat sketchy. He said he would get that to me. He said something, I don’t remember what, that prompted me to say, “I’m just trying to help for what it’s worth” (in regards to helping with the kids’ class). He turned to walk away but then turned back and commented that, “when teaching, you also learn.” And a truer statement could not be uttered. I totally agree with that and said so.

And I was especially blessed in that Sensei stuck around for quite a bit after that and we talked about quite an array of subjects relating to martial arts. When I told him I was, in fact, learning quite a bit from the kids falling class because since I had been attending, the adults had not had a “falling” class. Sensei looked a bit surprised, but then said some people did not consider learning to fall productive because it didn’t work toward gaining a belt in Tae Kwon Do. I asked if he thought there were many in our school who felt that way – that it was all about the belt. He said, no, not the people who came to class every week like me. But he said there are a few people to whom it really does matter a lot. I said, on the contrary, I felt all the martial arts fed off of each other and that one could learn from all disciplines. Sensei brought up how Bruce Lee was of that school of thought. He said, if you practice strictly one art – Tae Kwon Do, for example, that you may learn to kick and punch, but if someone happens to be better than you – and there is ALWAYS someone better than you – you had better know how to fall without getting hurt so you're able to get back up quickly to use that Tae Kwon Do again. Great point, don’t you think? I cannot imagine anyone thinking otherwise…

Sensei then kind of brought our conversation back full circle to the issue of belts and testing. Surprisingly, he said he used to be very nervous when it was time to test. He said when he was coming up, his sensei did not give much of a “heads up” to when you’d be testing. He said he would be going along and feeling pretty good about his skills and then his sensei would say it was time to test. He said, “I got nervous and disappeared for a few days.” But then he came right back and nailed it. He said that this is why he suggests that a candidate for testing not practice the day before the actual test…to give them a chance to let their body and mind take over what they know. Alleviate the nerves a bit.

We talked about the small differences that can make or break a competitor in a kata competition. Sensei reiterated what he had taught us the previous week – how a kata we do in class cannot be “just” done the way we do it in class if we were in a competition. We would have to show that “something extra”, which could be almost anything. If two competitors executed the same kata in almost the same way, something would have to stand out differentiating the two. It may be something as seemingly inconsequential as one person wearing an ill-fitting gi, or a dingy or very wrinkled gi. If their performance was almost identical to another person’s – Which one do you think would win? I commented that attitude could play a big part in that as well. Sensei responded passionately, “Oh, yeah – attitude makes a BIG difference! It can be the one thing – like the dingy gi – that can make you stand out from the others in competition. And depending on the nature of that attitude, that could be in a positive way or a negative way.”

And about that time, being completely immersed in our conversation, we noticed it was time to bow the children’s class out, and almost time for the adult class to begin. So we ended our chat session for that evening.

Sensei and I probably discussed even more subjects as well, but these were the ones that really struck home with me. I mean, So many of the things he revealed about himself – the nerves he felt when preparing to test and showing a little disappointment - albeit without showing judgment - at knowing a few were “all about the rank and belt”. This was all so eye-opening for me. I guess I know that everyone is nervous – at least to a certain extent - when they test. But you just don’t think in terms of your Sensei ever having been in your shoes, when in fact he has walked in your shoes, and it has made him what he is today. And whether he reads this blog or not – this is how I truly feel – what he is today is a great teacher and a great person as well. And I value his opinions and viewpoints on not just martial arts subjects, but in other life issues as well.

Looking forward to many more “Thursdays with Sensei”…

The Chuck Noland Balance Program...

Well, remember a few months ago, I started a balance training program? Well, have you also noticed that I haven’t written an update in…well, forever? That’s because with all that has gone on lately in my life, and just general exhaustion – both mental and physical – because of it, I just haven’t cared. That’s probably not the right way to phrase it. I do care. Another set of instructions, rules that I need to follow and remember – now that I just can’t get into right now.

Normally, I like instructions. I like to take the necessary baby steps to accomplish a goal I’ve set for myself. In fact, any book or movie that involves someone making very slow, but steady (and creative) progress is going to be a winner with me. For example, I just love how Tom Hanks, as Castaway Chuck Noland, starts out with the clothes on his back and nothing else after his Fed Ex plane crashes. The first step he takes is to make “shoes” for himself out of materials he has on hand. As we watch his saga unfold, he consistently takes these baby steps to create a life for himself, that despite the loneliness (no offense, Wilson), works. Now if this had really happened to someone (and hey, who knows, maybe it has and we just haven’t found him/her yet!) you can bet the events took a heck of a lot longer than 3 hours to unfold! And it probably did not (or does not) seem very enjoyable to the person to which it is happening.

But then there is fire. Remember when Chuck created fire? “I have made FIRE! Fire is what I’ve created. I …have made…FIRE.” He was so proud of himself. And that is how I want to feel about my everyday life and my martial arts life (which are, in fact, the same life!)

I have been occasionally standing on one foot while I dry my hair again. I would look in the mirror as my hair flew up all around me and tell myself that I should be trying to balance instead of just wasting this opportunity to mere drying of hair. So, the other morning, I did that. And I did it again this morning. And you know what, I will probably do it again tomorrow morning. Now that I’m in a more private office, (Remember I started a new job about 3 weeks ago), I think I’m going to bring my big balance ball and sit on it at my desk instead of a chair. I’ve heard that improves your balance and also helps tone your abs, glutes, etc. Small, incremental steps. Steps I’ve created myself.

So, I have abandoned the coach’s formal balance training program. But you know what, I think I’m going to pursue the Chuck Noland Balance Program – take it one step at a time to reach my goals of being able to have better balance. Matter of fact, I will stand up and balance on one foot at my desk as soon as I finish typing this post. And then while I’m waiting for my lunch to heat up in the microwave, I’ll…

Hey, maybe someone will make a movie about my personal journey to order and balance…

I could name my balance ball Wilson…

Life is a Picnic...

Last fall, I missed what would have been my first karate school picnic. I don’t remember the reason I missed it, but I do recall that I had my potluck dish all prepared and was ready & excited to attend, but something came up at the very last minute – like an hour or so before. Why can’t I remember? Oh well…

This year, I was lucky to be able to attend with my son, my daughter, and her new boyfriend. Since my husband does not practice martial arts, he really doesn’t know anyone, so he opted out. But he did contribute his famous made-from-scratch potato salad, which always seems to be well-received.

Weatherwise, the day could not have been more beautiful. The second weekend of October, and it was in the low 80’s with barely a hint of humidity – in St. Louis! Our group had reserved a large, shaded pavilion with big shade trees surrounding it, which just enhanced the beauty of the day. The leaves are just starting to turn those wonderful autumnal colors and drift to the ground on light breezes. My favorite time of year!

When my son and I arrived, many were already there. We were welcomed by everyone and I placed Hubby’s famous potato salad in a larger bowl of ice next to the other fare of veggies, a hot potato casserole *YUM!*, a couple of varieties of pasta salads, along with the hot dogs and burgers (sauced or non-sauced) provided by Sensei.

I am normally not big on BBQ sauce, but when it came time to eat, Sensei asked if I wanted a burger with or without his BBQ sauce. Before I knew that it was his famous BBQ sauce, I said plain. Then when I heard that he made really good sauce and was proud of it to boot (He’s a guy – c’mon – what did you expect?) I said I wanted to try one with the sauce. He joked, thinking I was sucking up I guess, and said, “No BBQ Sauce for you!” (think Soup Nazi voice from Seinfeld!) Of course, everyone had a good laugh over it, but he did serve me up a burger with his oh-so-good BBQ sauce. And I’m glad I did try it because it really was very good. (And no, I’m NOT just saying that to suck up – I’m sure he doesn’t even read this blog, although I know he did see it once!)

After chowing down on all the great main dishes, we had an entire picnic table of desserts from which to choose. There was “Women’s Pie” which was basically chocolate with a pie crust used as a vehicle in which to get the chocolate to your mouth. I, not being the chocoholic like so many are, gravitated toward the apple pie, made by one of our senseis.

I learned a fun story about the apple pie too. Our sensei and his sensei, the one who just passed away last month, are and were respectively, both apple pie connoisseur. Every year, the older sensei would tease the sensei who baked the pie that she just didn’t quite have it right – it needed something more – that she’d have to keep making more and letting him taste test them. And as another who considers herself an apple pie enthusiast, I can tell you, if she does not have it right, she’s pretty darn close! It was delicious. In telling this story, Sensei said he was all about the apple pie…”Gimme an apple pie and big glass of water or milk…mmm”

I made the acquaintance of many family members whom I had not had the pleasure of meeting before. For example, Sensei’s wife, whom I had not met before. Very down-to-earth, wonderful lady. I enjoyed her company very much.

The married couple, he a black belt, she a brown getting ready to test next month for black belt, brought their two adorable sons, who, again, I’d never seen before. Cute kids and very well mannered.

I also learned some things I didn’t know about the people I see every week. For example, Mack, who I told you about in my first blog, I think - the late starter who encouraged me to start martial arts because, “If he could do it, anyone can do it.” Mark told us how he had a lot of people depending on him and how he takes it all in stride and offers help in any way he can. But if you knew Mack, this would not have surprised you. You can just tell he is that kind of person.

I met the owner of a sister dojo, a 4th degree black belt I was told, who brought along her pet sugar gliders. If you don’t know what a sugar glider is, they are adorable. They are basically a small flying squirrel. She educated us all on their origins (Australia) and how they eat, how they interact, fly and attack if they are truly threatened – which takes quite a lot from what I understand.) I had met her once, very briefly, at O-Sensei’s wake a few weeks ago, so it was nice to get to truly know her in more pleasant circumstances.

Everyone seemed to know my daughter’s new boyfriend. It was kind of funny because at least two or three people said to me, “What’s his name? He looks so familiar to me.” Turns out he went to high school with many of their kids.

Kids and adults had a blast participating in activities ranging from knife/hatchet throwing. (Yes – it was safe – a knowledgeable adult was supervising at all times.) to football and frisbee. The younger attendees spent some quality time on the nearby playground. My personal favorite activity was just sitting around talking, getting to know one another and our families better.

It is so fun to interact with these folks outside of the dojo. It’s also very interesting because in retrospect, in thinking about all the new things I learned about these people, none of it really surprises me. The way they act “in regular everyday life” is the same character traits that I see in the dojo. The things that make them great people both in and out of the dojo.

I can’t wait for next year…

Yes or No

Copied from Perpetual Beginner, who got it from Becky at Fine Martial Fiber.

Only yes or no answers allowed, no explanation unless asked. And away we go!

Over 18? Yes
Danced in front of your mirror naked? No, none of my mirrors are broken!
Ever told a lie? Yes
Been arrested? No
Kissed a picture? Yes
Fallen asleep at work/school? Yes
Held an actual snake? Yes
Ever run a red light? Yes
Ever drink and drive? Yes, once, and not proud of it
Been suspended from school? No
Ever been fired from a job? No
Totaled a car/motorbike in an accident? No
Sang karaoke? Yes
Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? Yes
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Yes
Ever laughed until you wet yourself? Yes
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Yes
Kissed in the rain? Yes
Sang in the shower? No, but I've cried in the shower
Sat on a rooftop? Yes
Thought about your past with regret? Yes
Been pushed in the pool with your clothes on? No
Shaved your head? No
Blacked out from drinking? No
Had a gym membership? Yes
Been in a band? Yes
Shot a gun? Yes
Liked someone with nobody else knowing about it? Yes
Played strip poker? Yes
Been to a strip joint? No
Donated Blood? Yes
Liked someone you shouldn’t? Yes
Have a tattoo? Yes
Have or had any piercings besides ears? No
Made out with a complete stranger? No
Caught someone cheating on you? Yes
Skinny dipped? No
Regret any of your ex’s? Yes
Been to a rodeo? Yes
Been to a NASCAR race? No
Been in Love? Yes